Disgrace…

There are times when you wish that you had the power to take the law into your own hands, to set the society right and get rid off all the anti-social elements, the ones who make your blood boil, primarily because they commit a heinous crime and yet manage to get away with it. And we remain helpless all the while, hoping that our judicious system will do something about it, though we know what the outcome in most cases will be.

Now initially, i thought I will write a feel good post on girls and what they mean to us. But after reading one particular article that appeared in the ToI, I was so disgusted that I dropped the whole idea of writing that post. This article filled me with such repugnance that I thought I should tell this world the humiliation that women sometimes suffer in this democracy. I don’t even want to mention here what the incident was, you guys better read it for yourselves.

Reflect on this for a moment. All that the girls wanted to do was to watch the parade. But what they encountered was something that will haunt them for their lives. The mental trauma that they would have had to endure is unimaginable. The fact that this happened in broad day light is even more unnerving. And this happened in the same city where a similar incident happened is downright appalling.

When the India Gate episode occurred, many argued that the girl’s clothes where provocative and the men, who were inebriated, had no knowledge of what they were doing. Which is bullshit. Being drunk doesn’t mean you can behave like an animal and get away with it. And many complain that the girl should have known the situation that was prevailing there and should have refrained from being glamorous.Maybe the girl should have thought about it, yes, but that doesn’t justify molesting her, for Heaven’s sake ! And what happened now is simply outrageous !

This is not any isolated case that happens once every blue moon, but one that happens everyday, in crowded buses, trains, marketplaces, what not.. But only few incidents like these get reported and then the nation as a whole raises a hue and cry, but eventually nothing happens and the perpetrators go about their business.

The majority of the blame should be apportioned to the indifferent judicial system that we have in our country. There is a this quote in one tamil movie “தண்டனைகள் கடுமை ஆனால்தான் குற்றங்கள் குறையும்.” , which means that only when punishment get tougher will crime rates drop. Its high time the judicial system is revamped, to suit the crimes that are committed today. Any criminal should think for a moment the consequences of his act before he commits it. Fear is the incentive here. Fear is the key.

But part of the responsibility lies with us. Its not the uneducated or the wastrels who are committing such disgusting acts. Not any more. Its no secret that even educated menfolk sometimes indulge in such criminal activities. Eve teasing is one such example. And yet, the society as a whole watches them do this, considering it an entertaining spectacle rather than a outrage against women. If only the same spectators gathered together and questioned these scoundrels  (and punch their face and knock out their teeth, if possible) , will there arise a fear among them, rather than one good Samaritan trying to help the girl and in that effort get beaten by those rogues.

And men do hear stories from their friends who indulge in such activities and consider it an act of courage and bravery ! Please, this is not a glowing moment to be treasured. Just spare a thought for the helpless girl who has to suffer the agony. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine what it would be like, when an ugly stranger gropes your body and you cannot do anything but cry silently, as what happened in the T20 celebration parade. It maybe a thrilling/exciting/whatever moment for them, but its an equally traumatising moment for a helpless poor soul. Please, please dissuade your friends from indulging in such disgraceful acts.

Do your bit to reform the society.

Adios…

Eventuality…

We are desperate to prove ourselves to the world.

And sometimes we eventually do.

But then, what’s the point?

Nostalgia…

Sometimes it is the happiest memories that are the most painful in life…

Gender Blunder…

A couple of days back, I had this conversation with a female friend of mine. What started as an innocent little chat soon took a violent turn, with the author barely managing to breathe while being beaten black and blue in an argument. The argument was,of course, of a sensitive nature and I barely had any valid reason to justify the genuine accusations that my companion was throwing at me.

It all started with innocent me “accidentally” calling a girl, fat. (I literally heard a gasp from the other end, although we were each typing in g-talk). There started the thrashing of a defenceless warrior.

“So you will not look at a girl if she’s fat is it?”.

Silence, Dale Carnegie has noted, is the best way to win an argument. But it was useless now. My silence only prompted a further fusillade of acerbic questions, ranging from why men attach so much importance to how a girl looks, to why a man always wants his bride to be beautiful while he himself looks like a …er…pig, to why women are treated like slaves in our country, to why men prefer (Or rather want. I am trying to make this as refined as possible ) fair complexion, to not wanting their wives to hang out with friends after marriage, to why men do whatever they want and still get away with it….The list was endless.

And all I could come up with was some feeble explanation. While my friend was literally blasting men out of dear Mother Earth, I kept mumbling incoherently about the educational perspective, the genetic mapping, the social fabric, the space time continuum, the string theory……All in support of guileless men like me who get mired in a debate with a woman who knows she can pummel you into submission anyday.

But hey, when you think about it, the questions do raise a genuine concern. Our country has made great strides in the fields of education and technology, but yet when it comes to the kind of mindset we have towards the female gender, the general feeling is that we are still stuck up in the 60s and 70s.

The nation as a whole has awakened to the needs of women only in the recent past. The realisation that women have the same rights and privileges as men folk has gained momentum over the past few years. But is this being applied uniformly all over the country ?

A week back, I had a similar conversation with another friend of mine who’s female friend was getting married. Having been friends since they started going out to school together in kindergarten, my friend was a little sad that their friendship will suffer a setback after her marriage. Which we have to accept, in most cases, is true. Many a time, a girl has all her connections to the outside world terminated, either voluntarily or otherwise, after her marriage. More so if her friends include boys. The reason cited : the society doesn’t approve of it. Belch.

And men get away with anything that they do, especially when it involves girls, is something that again is true in half the cases. While women do not/cannot even think of such a thing. Because,again, they will be socially maligned. But this society will allow us menfolk to do the same thing and yet go scotfree.

My argument was that our country had always had a patriarchal inclination where men dominated women. While many of us have slowly begun to realise that this is not right and women have equal freedom, the percentage is very minimal. The whole outlook cannot change in a year or two, but its a slow process. Slow it is, but its still a process and the wheels have already been set in motion.

Education is the key to reform any society and eradicate its prejudices. And the more educated we are, the more enlightened we are about this whole gender equality thing. The statistics correlate the paradigm shift that our nation has seen on the social status of women. The literacy rates have increased by leaps and bounds,it was 18 pc in 1951 and 65 pc in 2001(considering the humungous rise in population levels over these years), which is a positive sign – that the society will reform its ways and change its outlook.

Women need to be empowered to realise their self importance. Their literacy rate should improve further, especially in the rural areas, notwithstanding the significant levels of increase it has witnessed in the past two decades – it was 39 pc in 1991 and 54 pc in 2001 (again,you have to consider the population levels and then these percentages will be significant).Although it cannot be argued that women are now given an equal accord in all facets, it is true that their importance has increased by a huge margin in the past two decades. And this, I personally believe, is an harbinger of the changes that the nation as a whole will witness in the coming years.

Although the above reasons are not rivetting, they are atleast convincing, that the nation will change for the better.

I do not personally approve of the society, but nevertheless when the nation’s moral standing was pulled into question, I had to defend it (and the few thousand innocent guys like me) with the right reasons and set the record straight.

As for why men attach so much of importance to beauty, I really have no clue till date. From time immemorial, man has always drooled over babes and wished that she would rather be his wife. I mean, no man can place his hand on his heart and say he is an exception to this rule, as this study here proves… If he does so, either he is blind or he is gay. Or both.

As for my latest crush, and listen carefully my dear online friend who broke my bloody teeth the other day, she is a “little on the chubby side”.

Albeit she is fair and looks very cute .

Adios.

[With inputs from the National Literacy Mission and the Census of India.

Further reading : NLM and Women Empowerment]