Farcical Media…

Sometime back, I happened to read this article that appeared on The BBC Website, deriding the Indian media for the dumb way it sometimes acts. But the Media, unfortunately, do not seem to have taken any lessons from such criticisms. On the contrary they seem to be basking in such abashments.

Take this for example. For the past couple of days, the news channels were full of space shuttle Atlantis’s return. While it can be news enough to take some prime time on the CRT, the way the Indian news channels drummed up that adventure makes one really sick. And they do this for only one reason. Sunita Williams.

Yesterday night, the time when the shuttle was to rendezvous with good old Mother Earth, the news channels were in a new high. Every news channel was literally filled with the story of Sunita Williams and her “purported” Indian connections. It was sheer madness. I mean, lets get the facts straight.Sunita is not an Indian as Kalpana Chawla was (or atleast not as Indian as she was). She is an American Citizen by birth and she has lived like an American so far. She rarely, if ever, visited India. But these channels project her as if the shuttle mission was the only time she ever went outside India. And get this. If we go by her origins,Sunita Williams is not an Indian, she is an Indian-Slovenian.

So coming back to these news channels. The shuttle mission is not something that is happening for the first time. Even when the shuttle went to space the last time around, there were glitches. But the news was not treated with such importance back then as it is being done now. And mind you, it is the Indian media that is raising such a hue and cry over this. Take a look at one of the American or British news channels. To all of them, this is just another event that’s happening around the globe. But our media ?

One of them runs a timer that gives the time left before “Suni returns home”. Another one ran a small window that showed the trajectory of the shuttle, real time. Another one, again, ran a timer. Another channel was running a 3 hour show explaining about the space shuttle Atlantis, Sunita Williams and how she made her Samosas, among others. They called up a few of her very distant relatives, distant because of the distance between India and America, who separately claimed that it was he/she who taught Sunita how to make her samosas right. No wonder they filled up the 3 hours. Not to forget the timer.

Look at them. They rarely mentioned the name of any other crew member.They did not go there for just for star gazing, did they! They had equally important roles . But accoridng to our media, noone else was on that mission except our Beti. While I am very proud of the fact that someone who has her roots in India is going to space, the news channels made me hate myself for that. They ask 6 year old kids what they thought about Sunita. I mean, bring some sense into the news,man…

This has been happening for quite sometime though. Like for example, the way the news channels fell over each other in the rush to cover Abhishek Bachchan’s marriage was quite appaling indeed. Worse, they had a live coverage of, not the marriage, but the entrance to the marriage venue (called Prathiksha, which the channels mentioned with such off-handedness as though it was a name every Indian should know, like Taj Mahal or Rashtrapati Bhavan…). And one of them carried a live coverage of a small time model who attempted to commit suicide cos apparently junior Bachchan had cheated on her.It was the only channel which even carried that news that day, leave alone a live coverage. (To be honest, this channel carries loads of shit in the guise of a live coverage for events  which no sane Indian will ever turn his head to).

The way these people cover this shuttle’s return to earth, you cannot help but think that they are secretly hoping that something sinister should befall that machine so that they can again fall over each other, covering the whole episode live, doling out exaggerated figures, call in a bunch of ’so called’ experts, and pass off another 4 hours coolly. God forbid…

And mooting a non existent debate between two movie giants, the Big B and Rajni,when each showered praised on the other and acknowledged that the other star was the greatest, is something only our media can manage.

And ‘breaking news’ first to the reader is another rat race. Whether they indeed do it or not, each channel claims to have broken the same news at the same time. A classic being Kingfisher getting a dtake in Air Deccan and lo, there we had NDTV Profit, CNBC TV18, CNN-IBN and Times Now, each claiming that it was the channel to break that news to us. Now where is the credibility that they are supposed to provide ? Don’t ask me…

The feather in the cap was when NDTV  ”broke the news”  that theatres have began booking tickets for Rajni’s Sivaji. I don’t complain though. It was Thalaivar’s movie for which they were plugging…

Adios…

Sega fightaa…Sivaji Rightaa…

It has finally released, Sivaji – The Boss has hit the silver screens after having been in production for more than a year. And I caught up with the movie on Saturday. And here is what I felt after watching it.

Now lets get the facts straight.

1. It’s a Rajini movie directed by Shankar and not the other way around.

2.  It has some gaping flaws in logic. Some of them can even be misleading.

3. The stunts seem to be impossible and defy every known laws of physics.

4. The story line is thin and cliched.

But then…

WHO REALLY CARES MAN, WHO REALLY CARES..

This is a typical Thalaivar  movie. You’ve get everything in this movie that a Rajni fan can ask for. And Shankar more than satisfies his fans with his movie. It is inevitable that some compromises has to be made in the story to accomodate Thalaivar’s image. And Thalaivar,  as always, carries the movie on his shoulders. And how.

The 1st half of the movie is a comical interlude. You have Thalaivar  with his inimtable style matching Vivek in all the fun. The story deals with corruption and black money. Being an NRI, Rajni wants to set up a Universtiy and Hospital for the poor. Trouble comes in the form of Suman, who throws hurdles in Thalaivar’s way and finally leaves him penniless. How Rajni manages to come out of this situation and in the process cleans up the society form the second half of the film.

Everyone in his role in the movie has performed equally good. Vivek is Rajni’s constant companion and helps him out in the initial scenes of the movie. Shreya simply rules. She looks stunning in the songs and ravishing in the scenes. Suman is apt as the villain, while Raghuvaran could’ve been utilised better. A R Rahman’s background music is damn good, and when you compare this with Anniyan, you will understand what Shankar lost there. Overall a neat package that includes something for everyone.  

Now, the movie by itself is woven around Rajni. And Thalaivar in this movie looks stylish n sauve. We’ve never had a better looking Rajni before. With all his designer clothes, uber cool cars, and his trademark demeanour, he simply rocks.  The bald Rajni leaves the theatre in a state of hysteria.  You simply cannot help but gawk at him everytime he utters a dialogue or performs one of his trademark actions.  The adulation that he recieves on screen is simply amazing.

As it is, the story has to be compromised here and there to accomdate Shankar to showcase some of his thoughts . Else it is Rajni who clearly dictates the terms in Sivaji. The songs and stunts are typical Shankar stuff though. Grandiose sets, gravity defying fight sequences, some very good graphic work are  a few of them. The Athiradee song especially leaves the fans asking for more. An absolute stunner this song is.

Many of us are bound to grumble that the intensity of emotions that one felt while watching earlier Thalaivar movies was strangely missing in this one. But one has to understand that while in his previous movies, Rajni opposed an individual and directed all his energy and actions in setting him right. But in Sivaji , he targets a whole system and sets out to rectify that. In that way, it is only possible that the intensity is bound to be dampened out to an extent.

And many of us, like this guy, mock at the way the stunts are performed, especially the one in the climax. Now why is it that when the stunts are performed in an English movie with an equally impossible explanation, we watch them with our mouths hanging wide open ? But when someone does this in our Tamil movies for pure theatrics, which we all know and understand,why do we all raise up in arms ridiculing it ?  I mean, hey you guys watched Uma Thurman raze about 70 odd baddies in a fight in Kill Bill, using nothing but a sword when the baddies had every known weapon, and you raved about it…But why do you mock when Rajni does the same thing in his fights ? Why do we compare everything with the Scorcese or the Wachowski Brothers’ movies that we see on Star Movies ? Why, of all the stupid ass reasons, why are we like this??

To sum it up, this is a movie taken to satisfy Rajni fans and Rajni fans alone. We do not give a zilch about whether he does a Keanu Reeves or a Hugo Weaving. We do not give a damn about whether the Big B is better than him or not. If you think we are mad, then we are. We are happy with the way Thalaivar is and we’ll prove to the world, time and again, that he has all the bloody adulation in the world that no star in the world, NO ONE, recieves.

(Sivaji 1st Day 1st Show in San Jose, USA – to prove a point)

 

And for all you Sivaji and Rajni bashers, go soak your heads in a bucket of ice.  YOU SUCK…

Sega Fightaa….Sivaji Rightaa…..

By God He Always Is !!!!

Carte de crédit…

The credit card mania seems to have left no one out of its wake. And I wasn’t an aberration either. Whether I like it or not, all my app-ing process for my higher studies mandate me to have a credit card. And strangely for a mobile phone customer,  I rarely recieved any calls from any bank regarding this. I should have left that undisturbed. My mistake.

So with no other way to get a credit card, I asked one of my friends who gets a call from a bank in half an hour intervals, with the result that every bank in the city knows his name and treats him as their preferred customer,  to refer me. And as expected, I recieved a call from a guy supposedly from ABN AMRO half an hour later.  But unfortunately I didn’t fit into the criteria that that bank had laid down. But the representative was very helpful and offered to get me a card from some other bank. It struck me as a good idea, only that I didn’t know at that time how tiring it can turn out to be.

Soon after , I recieved a call from a slew of banks offering me a Credit card, right from SBI to Citibank . I got about a dozen calls from a dozen banks over the next two days. And this was what made it more interesting, and costly too.

To begin with, I had no proof for my permanent address. And I did not have a landline phone connection too. I never knew a telephone could as much play a role in securing a credit card. Till now. So here are a few conversations I had with the dozen representatives…

First conversation with an HSBC representative. This happened while I was in my home at Bangalore and I was bleeding a cool Rs.2 for every minute of an incoming call..

Ezhil Kanagaraju: Hello

Sales Exec. : Hi , we are calling from HSBC. This is a verification call. Can you confirm you birthdate ?

..

..

(after about 2 mins…)

SE : Do you have a brother ?

EK : No. I don’t.

SE : Brother ledha ( telugu for “don’t u have a brother”)

EK : Ledhu ledhu

SE : Ledhaa ? (And giggles…)

EK is stumped by the female’s behaviour.

SE : Why is your name so difficult to pronounce ? You could have kept a simpler name no..(and giggles again…)

EK wondering if I’m really having this conversation… and the counter was touching the 7  minute mark.

EK : Can I tell you something ? I am in Bangalore and my mobile is in roaming. Can you wind up fast ? ( Hell, if this had happened in Chennai , I would have had a very good time in that conversation with the female…)

SE : Oops.. Sorry…OK I will get back to you shortly. (Click)

I guess the irritation in my voice was pretty palpable…That female hung up in a hurry…

..

After this, I was called up again by other banks when I returned to Chennai. And all the Credit card agents asked me to tweak my response some way or the other to the verification questions asked.

 Like in the case of SBI, ” Are you staying with your family “, my response should be like ” Yes I am”, when in reality I am staying with my friends. 

Like in the case of Deutsche, ” Can you give me a landline number ? ” , I give them a number that belongs to one of the friends of the agents and pass it off as my own.

Like in the case of Citi, ” How long have you been staying at this place ? “, I should say ” I’ve been here for about 2 years now “, when I had actually been staying there for only about one year. With so many banks to answer to, and so many tweaked responses, I soon lost track of what I should say to whom..

..

..

SE : ” Hello we are calling from Citibank. Can you give us your landline number ?”

EK  gives the number meant for Deutsche.

SE : ” But previously you said you don’t have a landline number”.

EK observes silence.

SE : proceeds with other questions and hangs up.

…

…

…

SE : Hello, we are calling from Deutsche. Can you give us your landline number ?

EK : No I don’t have a landline phone .

SE : But you had given this as your number didn’t you ? (and rattles off the number the agent had given to be used as mine )

EK observes a two minute silence.

SE : proceeds with other questions and hangs up.

..

..

..

..

SE : Hi we are calling from SBI. Can you tell us how long you had been living here ?

EK : For about two years.

SE : But you had mentioned that you had been there only for about a year ! How did that become 2 years ??

EK has already entered a state of coma…

..

..

..

Two days later , I recieve a call from ICICI.

SE : Hello sir, we have chosen you for a free corporate credit card. Give us only your payslips.

(Now I was seriously not interested in ICICI  ‘cos I’ve heard they have a lot of business acumen (read hidden costs)  involved when they sell u a card and also there were unfounded rumours that they send thugs instead of monthly statements…)

EK : No , I am not interested.

SE : Sir, this is a free card. Our agent will come and get the form from you 2moro.

EK : But I….

SE : 2 months’ payslip and ID proof.

EK : I don’t…

SE : Your address is CTS Navalur..

EK : Listen, I…

SE : When can we come and collect the documents ?

(EK is pissed off, big time)

EK : Look, I said I don’t need that stupid card, and when I say I don’t want one,  I mean I DON’T WANT ONE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?

SE : OK (Click…)

Seriously, the cheek that these guys have. Phew…

..

..

After all that fiasco, I seriously doubt if any bank will be willing to giving me a Credit card. You can’t blame me though. But I sure wish to the Almighty that I don’t get to hear them calling up again .. (Phone rings…)

SE : Hello we are calling from HSBC. We are offering credit cards with free membership.

(The distant sound of a siren from an approaching ambulance can be heard in the backdrop)

Amen…